Friday, April 27, 2012

Being Married While in College

   This morning during my short drive to work it finally hit me that after three long years of education I'm finally graduating. Come this weekend, Saturday to be exact, I'll be completely done and will have a fashion design and marketing degree to my name. This may not be worth a whole lot to the outside world but I can't wait to receive that piece of paper in the mail so I can feel it and hold it in my own hands. It's funny that education can mean so many different things to people. To me this is one of the thing I'm most proud about in my life. Most people wouldn't know this and I wont go into detail but the very thing that finally pushed me over the edge to drop everything and sign up for fashion design was realizing I was hiding behind my future husband's life instead of knowing what I wanted for my own. It's a long story in itself but the thing I gained from it was learning to force myself to figure out what I wanted. I think marriage can sometimes feel like a fix for people who aren't sure what they want from their own lives. It's easy to hide behind someone else's dreams and future and expect that to satisfy them. I know this because that's what I was doing. I'm so thankful for certain people in my life who challenged me to stop following and start making choices for my own life. 

   The hardest thing I've ever done up to this date was calling up Jonathan, crying my eyes out and having to explain to him that I couldn't marry him any time soon because I needed to do something for myself first. I felt so selfish and like I had broken him into two. I was a mess realizing how difficult it can be to claim something for your own life. Yet being the totally awesome man that Jonathan was he encouraged me through that whole time, even though I felt like dirt and in no way empowered like I thought I was suppose to feel. He celebrated with me when I was accepted to college, helped shop for my text books, and held me during my melt downs from the stress of assignment or life. He told me he was proud of me and that I needed to keep on going when I felt like quitting. It took me a good year before I could mentally get over the fact that he wasn't mad at me for postponing the engagement.

   When that year of schooling was done we finally got married. That day was truly the happiest day of my life because I knew then more than ever that I was marrying a man who had proved to me over and over again that he would be by my side no matter.

   I'm writing this incredibly long post to really just thank my husband. I realize that marrying young and trying to mix college education into the picture isn't always the ideal way to go. Typically one gets education first, starts paying off their student debt, finds a great job, establishes themselves and then find that perfect mate. Yet Jonathan and I did it so differently and I wouldn't change a thing about it. Tomorrow I get to have my husband by my side to celebrate with me during my final fashion show. There's honestly no words to express how over joyed I am to feel that such a supportive man is proud of me and thrilled with my accomplishments. He's poured into my life peace, love, grounding, inspiration and encouragement even when he's felt drained himself. I pray that once schooling is done I can in some way repay him in support and love in the same way he has done it for me. 

I'm so thankful for you Jonathan!


Nicole said...

Amazing heartfelt words Teaka! Congratulations! Enjoy the fashion show. Last year at our grad show it was easy to let the stress creep in and not fully enjoy the night.

Kelsey Keller Weller said...

This is beautiful. I hope all your future endeavors together turn out successful. Nice work with school!

Genevieve Renee said...

I am so proud of you Teaka! Love this post and I can't wait for tomorrow!!!

Kari Jeanne said...

Beautiful post Teaka :) I think the best thing to keep in mind is life and love looks different for everyone - and just because you are doing it differently then some, doesn't mean it's wrong for YOU. Good work on following YOUR heart :) And yay for supportive wonderful husbands!

Mrs.Marie Lester said...

congratulations! that's an amazing accomplishment! My husband and I have only been married for 3years but we did it a bit differently as well and we don't regret it at all :) everyone has their own 'normal' and it sounds like yours is pretty amazing lol congrats again!

Emme said...

this is so beautiful. you two seem like such a great couple and jonathan seems like such a sweetheart.
it was interesting to hear such a personal account of your experience with education. thanks for sharing :) i think it is really important to not hide behind your husband's life. i know i was starting to do that a little bit and quickly stopped myself.
congratulations on completing fashion design. i'm so happy for you and you have amazing talents. good luck with everything tomorrow!!

Kelsey Rosie said...

Girl, this spoke RIGHT to my heart. I got married when I was 2. And as much as I love my husband with all my heart, at times I wish we waited a few more years so I could go to college and accomplish a few other things. You're right, it's SO important to have your own goals and not hide behind your husband. Over the past year or so I've learned that my passions are just as important as my husband's. I hope this post helps other wives/future wives as well :).


Thank you for

TheHeadlessMannequin said...

Congrats on your upcoming graduation :) I can definitely empathise with the sentiments in this lovely post - I was very much hiding behind my fiancés career for the last few years before taking the plunge and going back to college to do a masters this year. I've hated writing assignments again yet each completed one feels like a mini victory. Your husband sounds like he's been really supportive - a real keeper :) Have a wonderful graduation day!

GingerPeachT said...

Congrats!!! I am also glad that I got married before finishing up college. I love having the support of my hubby. And even though I'm not even using either of my degrees I'm still so glad to be a housewife :-) it was one of my dreams to fulfill. Lol

Gaby said...

You and your husband are both really lucky to have each other x

Camelia said...

I want a fashion design and marketing degree as well! I'm still in high school, but that's cool that you are graduating, congratulations! I've never actually met anyone with that degree so this is cool :)
Also, it made my heart happy to read about you and your husband, such a lovely story, he sounds amazing.


Julia said...

What a lovely post.
Congratulations on your graduation

Amy Seager said...

What a beautiful post! And congrats on graduating too!

Loving your blog - please pop over to my blog too!


Kim said...

I love this post (and your blog as a whole, of course)! My husband and I are 22 (we got married last year), and we went through some of the same stuff. He has been so instrumental in pushing me to fully realize who I am and how I define myself.
Isn't it so wonderful to have a true partner in life?!
Congratulations on graduating! As it so happens, my husband will be graduating in a week! It's such an exciting time!

Fork said...

Congratulations! What a wonderful accomplishment for you and your family. It is definitely challenging being married when you or your spouse is working towards their degree. However, I think you learn a lot about how to develop a successful partnership! My husband is in graduate school and will finish next year. I can hardly wait until that exciting time!


Katie said...

Teaka, this post is so encouraging! Thank you! My Fiance and I are getting married young also. We're both 19, and I will be joining his University in the Fall to continue my schooling. I get worried every so often, wondering what it'll be like going to school together, while being married. But reading posts like this reminds me that it'll all work out. So again, thank you! AND Congratulations! That is such exciting news!


Karina Marie Powell said...

soo precious!! xoxo