This morning during my short drive to work it finally hit me that after three long years of education I'm finally graduating. Come this weekend, Saturday to be exact, I'll be completely done and will have a fashion design and marketing degree to my name. This may not be worth a whole lot to the outside world but I can't wait to receive that piece of paper in the mail so I can feel it and hold it in my own hands. It's funny that education can mean so many different things to people. To me this is one of the thing I'm most proud about in my life. Most people wouldn't know this and I wont go into detail but the very thing that finally pushed me over the edge to drop everything and sign up for fashion design was realizing I was hiding behind my future husband's life instead of knowing what I wanted for my own. It's a long story in itself but the thing I gained from it was learning to force myself to figure out what I wanted. I think marriage can sometimes feel like a fix for people who aren't sure what they want from their own lives. It's easy to hide behind someone else's dreams and future and expect that to satisfy them. I know this because that's what I was doing. I'm so thankful for certain people in my life who challenged me to stop following and start making choices for my own life.
The hardest thing I've ever done up to this date was calling up Jonathan, crying my eyes out and having to explain to him that I couldn't marry him any time soon because I needed to do something for myself first. I felt so selfish and like I had broken him into two. I was a mess realizing how difficult it can be to claim something for your own life. Yet being the totally awesome man that Jonathan was he encouraged me through that whole time, even though I felt like dirt and in no way empowered like I thought I was suppose to feel. He celebrated with me when I was accepted to college, helped shop for my text books, and held me during my melt downs from the stress of assignment or life. He told me he was proud of me and that I needed to keep on going when I felt like quitting. It took me a good year before I could mentally get over the fact that he wasn't mad at me for postponing the engagement.
When that year of schooling was done we finally got married. That day was truly the happiest day of my life because I knew then more than ever that I was marrying a man who had proved to me over and over again that he would be by my side no matter.
I'm writing this incredibly long post to really just thank my husband. I realize that marrying young and trying to mix college education into the picture isn't always the ideal way to go. Typically one gets education first, starts paying off their student debt, finds a great job, establishes themselves and then find that perfect mate. Yet Jonathan and I did it so differently and I wouldn't change a thing about it. Tomorrow I get to have my husband by my side to celebrate with me during my final fashion show. There's honestly no words to express how over joyed I am to feel that such a supportive man is proud of me and thrilled with my accomplishments. He's poured into my life peace, love, grounding, inspiration and encouragement even when he's felt drained himself. I pray that once schooling is done I can in some way repay him in support and love in the same way he has done it for me.
I'm so thankful for you Jonathan!