Friday, September 19, 2008

I Did it AGAIN!

I'm not sure what really goes on in my head when I think about planning a small little gathering of friends. Because when I get this idea I need to provided an avenue for other's to get to know more people I think....BIG. I think....well if people want to get to know other people then...we'll just have EVERYBODY come to the event and we can ALL hang out! GAH?!!!
I myself am not a leader. Not saying that as a put down against who I am (and I know people are always changing and growing) but I simply know that at this stage I do not ooze out the ideal leadership qualities like organization, clarity of mind while under stress, able to instruct people with easy instructions...etc! So when I think how BRILLIANT it would be to have a bunch of people hang out I really don't get past that thought. I mean I'll think up some great idea and go invite a bunch of people but then things stop there! I forget that their's the hostessing part that I'm normally never very comfortable with, there's the introducing friends to other friends that I get nervous about, and then theres just the whole planning out exactly what will happen so people aren't just standing around part that I haven't mastered yet. Also I forget that people don't get close with other people by huge gatherings where random shallow mingling is more or less taking place but it's someone inviting another person and a few others to their house or something and just hanging, enjoying each others company that really allows people to make friends.
GAHHHhh.....I seem to always get excited and love initiating something....but oddly I'm just not into the details! I've got to figure this out....I NEED to learn how to be detailed!!! How to allow more personal settings! AND WHY do I take this upon myself when I'm Clearly not the ideal candidate to be bringing other people into groups!!!!
Just a moment of frustration!

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