Thursday, December 07, 2006

uhmm......?

uhmm.....? I'm not even sure what to think anymore. I simply can not believe that this year is soon to be done.....only a week and some before my Miracle Channel program is done and next year I begin my internship at the station..... I guess I can only gawlk at this idea. For so long it seemed my life only built up to this very moment, as if everything I focused on and drived for was for this point, for this very day, to find out if I'd be hired or not. Now I know....and yes I'm thrilled!!!! I'm estatic but still I'm nervous. I feel like within this process of just a few months I'v learned so much about myself and gotten to know other wonderful friends and new people in the "journey" so it almost feels like I'm loosing something with this next step in life. Yet I know that there are many plans in mans heart but it's God purpose that will pervial! What's next year going to look like? Will I feel confident in what I'm undertaking? I don't plan on staying my entire life in Lethbridge....oh please God! But yet I'm still unsure of the futur past June.
Plus this day has been one event after another! At the end of this long...very long...day I feel mentally, emotionaly, and physically drainned. Like everything has been thrown over board and I have to rescramble around trying to figure out what I need and what should leave behind. None the less I cryed my tears for the day and certianly don't plan for anymore but incase they do come this evening I have a stock of kneexe close by just in case.
Ok so I could just start a whole venting sprea right now and I know it would feel good but for discloser sake I think it best not to spread my emotions all over the internet. Who know who could end up reading my ANGER!!!!!!! GRRRR> >:(
.......sigh

2 comments:

jon said...

ha...do I have something to do wtih that phyiscially draining you? I mean...you DID talk INCREDABLY fast! haha...and then laguhing...man, that was a work out...I'm drained...physically...just got off work...it's 3:13am...a good to hr break with a brief maybe 15 mins break!

What are you mad about? I don't get it...

This girl... said...

uhm...well I'd have to tell you another time....but after yesterday at the station things got pretty emotional. We went for coffee and things sort of spiraled downwards. In the end I tried to "fix" it but I think things only got worst. Yesterday was not a good day for "bonding" to say the least....yet I think things got worked out. So no worries.....yeppers.
But, yeah after a little rest my head feels fine now....but if you catch that I talk alittle slower ever third sentence just ignore it (side affects).... :P