Sunday, December 17, 2006

2007's Fruition .... is fruition the right word I'm looking for?....hmmmm

It's always quite a shocker to wake up after a nice long nape and realizing that you forgot to wipe off your makeup....yep...it can more or less scare you awake. Ah, well maybe I'll just stay in all day and not go out in public....it seems to be one of those lazy Sunday afternoons anyhow...but it's 5:16pm now so I guess it's not the afternoon.
Just a warning that this blog is simply blabbing to myself so if it makes no sence...well you don't have to read it. :l
Alright well...I can't say I'm terribly excited for the year 2007 and thats rather frightening for me. I was thinking before I actually fell asleep that since the time I graduted I guess I'v always had something to look forward to, a goal to strive for, or something that needed to be accomplished. And for the most part I pretty much knew what I wanted out of my life, that year or the month ahead. Yet this "stage" in my life has left me to only live in the Right Now. Trying to plan what my next step will be after June seems too unstable and unsure. It was never my interntion to stay at the station for a career. Even now I do not desire this. But because I don't see the full picture I don't know what else to imagin. Sigh I think my ability to imagin my future has plumited. Now I know I over analize things...I always have, but just think about it with me for a second. I'm still young. In a month I'll be 20 years old which still leaves me I figure over 80 years left of living. So why would I end up planting myself down in an area that I really don't see my future. Thats plane foolishness! I'm begining to get the understanding that the people who I love and trust should never be the driving force for my own futur. No one has ever pushed me into doing something or being someone outside of God's plans for me, but at the same time I can say that I have done somethings and says words in order to impress the people who I love and trust. So I guess I'm learning how to sift through the plans that God has laid out for me over the images and thoughts I percieve to be His voice. So all I know right now is that I'm stay another six months in Lethbridge and doing my darndest to understand everything thrown at me. After that...well I have a few ideas in my imagination but those still need to be weighted out before I can honestly publisize to people my next step.
:)
It feels great just to ramble.......

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