Wednesday, August 02, 2006

There More To This

Sleeping seems harder and harder to accomplish lately. It is no longer a luxury or a joy in my life cause though some take it as a time to relaxe and renew themselve for the next day ahead my time only dwindles on while my mind is relentlessly nagging, bickering, reminding, questioning, mocking, and pounding doubt into my motives for my over all future. Laying there in the dark, to scarred to open my eyes cause I might see something (why else would I have these fears) I wouldn't know what to deel with. It's hot and muggy, my sheets wrap around me like a shield from what lays around me and my head, though I wish to wip them off to open a passage of cool air I can't...most night the task seems fearfully impossible. This is the fourth night come and gone and only to my releif have I woken up with out a night mare or sweaty body twisted in my pj top and bottom. I none the less can now feel the after effects of these sleepless nights and dreamless stares ...I'm ready to fall onto the floor most days bag for reliefe. Though I discoverd last night that by simply talking out loud to God even if I'm still in a state of groggy mindlessness will rises up my peace, but I wish I could just sleep...

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